Are you a woman and subjected to violence by your current or former partner?

Then you are not alone. On an annual basis, at least 70,000 women experience being subjected to psychological abuse by their partner; 38,000 experience being subjected to physical violence; and, every year, more than 30,000 children witness domestic violence. In Denmark, physical as psychological violence is prohibited by law and an offence which may be punished by fine or imprisonment.

There is help at hand, either at a refuge for abused women, or at a crisis centre where you can participate in a counselling programme and, thus, need not take up residence at a refuge.

Opportunity for going to a refuge

If you are experiencing domestic violence, you and your children can get help at one of the country's refuges. You will, at all times, be entitled go to a refuge, and you are welcome to bring your children. A stay at a refuge is a service provided for all women over the age of 18, who have been subjected to violence, and any children accompanying them. At the refuge, you will receive support, care, and counselling. Here, you and your children, if any, will be safe and get help and support to find a way to escape the violence. In Denmark, about 2,000 women and about 1,900 children stay at a refuge, every year.

Day and night, you can call 1888 to get help and advice and, also, you will learn at which refuges in your vicinity there will be available accommodation – or a completely different location in the country, if this is what you need.

Opportunity for participation in a counselling programme
You also have the opportunity for participation in a counselling programme, free of charge (so-called outreach services) intended for women, and relatives to women, who are experiencing emotional, physical, or other abuse. A counselling programme consists of individual conversations, taking their point of departure in the individual woman's situation. Counselling takes place in Copenhagen, Ringsted, Randers, Kolding and Holstebro – and, in certain cases, this process may also take place online.

Greater Copenhagen: Call 33 33 00 47 or write to sigdettilnogen@danner.dk
Ringsted: Call 51 72 11 27  or write to ps@ringsted-krisecenter.dk
Randers: Call 23 99 58 37/23 99 58 35 or write to sig-det-til-nogen@randers.dk
Kolding: Call 75 53 17 81 or write to sigdettilnogen@koldingkrisecenter.dk
Holstebro: Call 22 78 45 68 or write to sdtn@holstebro.dk

About domestic abuse

Violence becomes an everyday occurrence
Gradually, violence becomes an element of the relationship and a normal occurrence in daily life. The abuse will break down the woman mentally and, as time goes by, the woman can no longer distinguish between what is normal and abnormal. This is a contributary, hampering factor explaining the woman's indecision as to leaving her violent partner. Typically, the woman believes that she has herself to blame and is responsible for the violence.

Domestic abuse and children
Often, the children will witness, hear, or become involved in the domestic abuse. For instance by the man's involvement of the children in his punishment of the woman. Research has shown that being witnesses to the violence may cause just as much harm to the children as were they, themselves, the targets of the violence. In some cases, the children display symptoms that might suggest that, to all intents and purposes, they were themselves actual subjects of physical abuse.

Types of violence

Violence and abuse may appear in many shapes. These are examples of various types of violence:

Physical violence
Psychical violence may for instance be blows, shoves, kicks, being flung into a wall or down the stairs, strangulation attempts, being stabbed, or by violence involving any other weapon. Likewise, the woman may be denied sleep, food, and drink.

Psychological violence
Psychological violence – or emotional abuse – is the most widespread type of domestic violence. As there are no bruises or broken bones, domestic violence is seldom visible to others. Psychological violence may be expressed as threats or by the debasement and humiliation of the woman. She may be yelled at or subjected to constant criticism. Also, the man may refuse to speak to the woman, and he may be jealous and controlling. He will, for instance, prevent her from going to work or meeting her friends and family.

Sexual violence
Sexual violence occurs when the woman is forced to participate in sexual acts against her will. She may be forced to have sex against her will or subdued to sexual acts she does not wish to participate in. There may also be other instances of a sexual nature – such as for instance the woman being forced to have sex with the perpetrator's friends, or she may be forced into prostituting herself.

Financial abuse
The woman may, for instance, be denied access to money, or she may be forced to hand over money she herself has earned. She may be subjected to begging for money, for food, and for pocket money. The perpetrator may also run up debts on her behalf or force her to take out a loan.

Property violence
Such abuse is directed at the woman's belongings. Thus, the man will destroy effects of considerable importance to the woman. He may throw her computer out of the window, or he will trample on the children's toys. He may also refuse the woman access to her things.

Stalking
Stalking may materialise in multiple ways. E.g. by way of telephone calls, text messages, letters, mails, or graffiti. The man may also order things in the woman's name, and she will receive parcels that she never ordered. Or he may keep her under surveillance and follow after her.

Digital violence
Digital violence, or cyberstalking, is similar to stalking, albeit solely taking place online. Thus, the man may for instance share intimate photos on social media, or he may threaten to do so. He may also pursue the woman via ”find my iPhone”, Snapchat, ”Find my location”, or perhaps he will install a concealed GPS.

Advice for you who are subjected to violence

• Call your nearest crisis centre, find the phone number at lokk.dk
• Call Lev Uden Vold's national hotline – on 1888. People will be ready to help you, round the clock
• Appear at a crisis centre and ask for help, call in advance if you can
• Contact a friend or relative and ask them to contact the crisis centre or Lev Uden Vold's hotline on 1888
• Pack a bag to be ready to leave in a hurry. Call 1888. Here, they will know which refuges that have available accommodation
• If you are in immediate danger, you must call the police on 112